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You should be able to do this with one tMap. Join your lookups on your columns using left outer joins. Then use the tMap variables (the box in the middle of the tMap) to work out the presence of matches. You can then use the variables to identify what you need to do to create your output. The tMap variables are processed in order (top to bottom). This is very useful for processing rules like this. Take a look at this post (https://community.talend.com/t5/How-Tos-and-Best-Practices/Compare-row-value-against-a-value-from-th...). It shows how to effectively use the tMap variables....but for another scenario. It should point you in the right direction.
Consider using the tHashOutput and tHashInput components for storing data in memory.
It is very difficult to answer your question about the amount of data you can load in 4GB of RAM I'm afraid, especially when I have no idea about the data or how your job will process it. I would suggest that 4GB is a pretty small amount to play with though.